By Joe Whitledge
First responders—firefighters, paramedics, police officers, and other emergency personnel—are the backbone of society’s safety net. They run toward danger when others flee, manage life-or-death situations daily, and witness humanity at its most vulnerable. Yet, beneath the uniforms and badges, many of these heroes silently carry immense emotional and mental burdens.
When asked how they're doing, it's not uncommon for first responders to respond with a simple, “I’m fine” or “I’m okay.” These phrases might seem reassuring, but for those in the field, they often carry a deeper, unspoken meaning: *I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to seem weak. I don’t want to feel vulnerable.*
The Culture of Stoicism
In the world of first responders, there is an unspoken culture of stoicism. Strength, resilience, and composure are essential traits, not just for the job but also for survival in high-pressure environments. Admitting to mental health struggles can feel like breaking a sacred code or, worse, risking your career.
Phrases like "I'm fine" and "I'm okay" become shields to deflect concern. They signal a desire to avoid vulnerability, protect others from worry, or simply cope with emotions that feel too overwhelming to confront. However, these shields often come at a cost.
The Hidden Toll
Repeated exposure to traumatic events—car accidents, fires, violent crimes, or medical emergencies—takes a psychological toll. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, and substance use are all too common in first responders. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), first responders experience higher rates of mental health issues than the general population, yet they are less likely to seek help.
Why? Stigma. The fear of being perceived as weak or unfit for duty often outweighs the need for support. Instead of addressing their struggles, many first responders rely on "I'm fine" as a way to push through.
The Importance of Checking In
For friends, family, and colleagues of first responders, hearing "I'm fine" or "I'm okay" should be a signal to dig deeper. These phrases don’t always mean everything is under control—they may be masking pain, exhaustion, or a cry for help.
Checking in doesn’t have to mean prying or forcing someone to open up. Instead, it can look like:
- Creating a safe space: Let them know it's okay to not be okay.
- Listening without judgment: Sometimes, just being there is enough.
- Offering resources: Gently suggest counseling or peer support programs tailored for first responders. Organizations like the Defending Heroes Project are excellent resources, offering advocacy and support for first responders’ mental health. Visit their website at [www.defendingheroesproject.org](http://www.defendingheroesproject.org) to learn more.
- Checking in regularly: A single "How are you?" is great, but ongoing support shows you truly care.
Breaking the Silence
It’s time to normalize vulnerability in the first responder community. Seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a step toward strength and resilience. Departments can foster this by offering mental health training, peer support groups, and access to confidential counseling services.
Nonprofit organizations like the Defending Heroes Project play a crucial role in supporting first responders. They provide resources, education, and a community where individuals can feel safe addressing their mental health. Their work highlights the importance of breaking the stigma and ensuring that no first responder feels alone in their struggles.
A Better Response
The next time you hear a first responder say, “I’m fine” or “I’m okay,” take a moment to consider what might be left unsaid. A gentle follow-up, like “Are you really?” or “I’m here if you need to talk,” can make all the difference.
Let’s work together to ensure that no first responder has to carry their mental health struggles alone. Because behind every “I’m fine” is someone who deserves to feel supported, understood, and truly okay.
To learn more about how you can support first responders or access resources, visit [www.defendingheroesproject.org](http://www.defendingheroesproject.org). Together, we can defend those who defend us.